From my personal experience
Embarking on the journey of becoming a first-line manager is a stressful and emotional journey. There were times when fear and helplessness crept in, there were times when I faced negative feedback, and there were days when the challenge seemed insurmountable. I believe that many of you, like me, may experience similar obstacles, and it is with this common understanding that I am eager to share my personal experiences. My goal is to support your mental health, provide insights, and offer practical tips that can help you navigate this journey with more ease.
Common Pitfalls
As I reflect on my journey transitioning from an individual contributor to a manager, I’ve encountered several pitfalls that I believe are important to share. These challenges were very personal to me, and they taught me valuable lessons about leadership:
- Micro-managing and over expectation
When I first became a manager, I struggled with the idea of being promoted from a technical expert to a manager. I found myself micro-managing and unfairly expecting my team members to possess the same level of technical knowledge that I had.
- Self-Imposed Pressure to Have All the Answers
Initially, I felt an immense amount of self-imposed pressure to have all the answers. I believed that I needed to be the one to come up with solutions for every problem that arose. This pressure was not only stressful for me but also limited the growth of my team members, who needed space to find their own solutions.
- Misconception of Protecting the Team from Drama and Conflict
I made the mistake of thinking that protecting my team from drama and conflict was the best approach. Instead of intervening and resolving issues, I realized that coaching, training, and empowering my team to handle conflicts themselves was more effective in the long run.
- Imbalance Between Boss’s Expectations and Team’s Resources
Balancing the expectations of my superiors with the resources available to my team was a significant challenge. At times, I overcommitted without considering the resources, leading to frustration and burnout among my team members.
- Lack of Regular 1–1 Meetings
In the early stages of my management role, I neglected to establish a habit of regular one-on-one meetings with my team members. This lack of communication hindered my ability to provide feedback, understand their needs, and foster strong relationships. Additionally, I didn’t prioritize a culture of 360-degree feedback, which prevented the holistic development of my team.
- Difficulty in Team Bonding
Building a cohesive team proved to be challenging for me. I struggled to balance the diverse personalities within the team and create a positive team culture. I underrated the coaching skills, outing activities and bonding occasions to encourage collaboration for a while.
- Challenges in the Hiring Process
I faced difficulties in the hiring process as I had not received prior training or experience in this area. This lack of expertise made it challenging to select the right candidates to join the team.
The mindset shift and my practical tips to become a better manager
After numerous mistakes and lessons learned, I’ve undergone a significant shift in my perception as a manager, and I’d like to share my personal insights
- Get to know each team member
I’ve come to realize the importance of building a strong connection with each member of my team. Initiating 1–1 conversations with each team member has been instrumental. These discussions have allowed me to understand their current roles, motivations, aspirations, and how we can collaborate effectively.
- Listen actively and understand the situations
One crucial mindset change I’ve made is shifting from a do-it-all approach to an observer and listener. I’ve acknowledged that I don’t need to solve every problem by myself, instead, I actively listen, seek feedback, and gather information. I regularly check in with my direct team and schedule meetings with other departments to understand their expectations and identify challenges and roadblocks.
If you’re naturally detail-oriented and tend to want everything in your control like me, learning to listen, read documents, and politely inquire about project details is essential. Avoid the trap of micro-managing by respecting the PIC and not skipping levels.
- Learn to manage expectations of boss, team members, and stakeholders
Managing expectations has been a key lesson for me. With my boss, especially in challenging situations with tight deadlines, I’ve learned to deliver in phases, promise and commit to milestones, and seek feedback for the next steps. With team members, when assigning tasks, I explain the “why” behind each task, the expected outcomes, and share any anticipated difficulties to build empathy and foster a sense of unity within the team.
- Foster an empowerment, sharing culture, and build trust with direct reports
Embracing empowerment isn’t always easy, especially when there’s a fear that team members might make mistakes. However, I’ve come to understand that mistakes are part of the growth process. I’ve learned to accept that team members will make mistakes within acceptable bounds. To enable this, the first step is building trust among members, so they feel comfortable sharing their opinions, difficulties, and potential risks they might face. This approach allows me to manage risks while ensuring that my team takes ownership of their work.
- Organize bonding activities based on team commonalities and my strengths
I have a passion for discovering great food, and it turns out some of my team members share this interest. I’ve leveraged this commonality to create bonding activities, such as trying new dishes at our favorite restaurants or exploring new culinary spots. Through these shared experiences, we’ve built stronger connections, understanding, and empathy among team members, leading to improved teamwork and performance.
- Enhancing Communication and Emotional Intelligence
One of the most critical areas I focused on was improving my communication skills and EQ. This included providing constructive feedback to my team members in a way that was both helpful and motivating. It also involved offering feedback to colleagues working on the same projects, with the aim of fostering collaboration and continuous improvement. Additionally, I learn on managing my own emotions and respect the feelings of others. This was instrumental in resolving conflicts, building positive working relationships, and boosting overall EQ. I found that my ability to lead and inspire my team improved significantly, contributing to a more productive and harmonious work environment.
- Developing Interviewing Skills
Understanding the intricacies of the hiring process was another significant learning curve for me as a first-time manager. I recognized the importance of interviewing skills and was proactive in seeking ways to improve. I attended training sessions, sought advice from more experienced colleagues, and practiced interviewing techniques. Over time, I gained valuable insights into how to conduct effective interviews, assess candidates, and make informed hiring decisions. These experiences not only helped me build a stronger team but also increased my confidence in my ability to identify the right talent for our organization.
My practical tips
- Set up monthly 1–1 meetings with team members and my line manager.
- Hold weekly team catch-ups to provide project updates, discuss challenges, and offer support as needed.
- Empower the team to take ownership and increase their visibility within other teams and the leadership team
- Allocate resources for side projects to help the team acquire new skills or expand their knowledge in different areas.
- Prepare mentally to maintain a positive attitude when receiving 360-degree feedback and prepare a speaking script in advance to give polite feedback.
- Create low-hanging fruits, celebrate accomplishments to boost motivation and team bonding.
- Organize sharing sessions within the team, whether it’s about a new skill, knowledge, or simply a book review.
- Lead by example: “Say what I can do, and do what I say,” avoiding making empty promises.
Final thoughts
This journey from an individual contributor to a first-time manager has been both challenging and rewarding. There will be more obstacles to overcome in the future, but what I’ve earned along the way is a strong foundation and the essential skills to continue growing and become my better version.
