I’m a 33-year-old single office drone. My life is a mix of deadlines, taking care of my parents, and trying to become a better person. It’s a real circus.
I’m on a journey of self-love, but I’m worried about going too far in either direction. My emotions are confusing when I face challenges. I go back and forth between blaming myself and forgiving myself easily. I question whether I’m being self-aware and compassionate, or simply making excuses for my mistakes. Deep down, I’m scared of staying stuck. I don’t want to ignore my bad habits or weaknesses. But when I push myself too hard, I feel like I’m not being kind to myself at all.
It’s hard to know what’s right!
Then, one day, I stumbled upon this gem:
Self-love isn’t about being narcissistic or ignoring your flaws.
Boom! It was like someone finally put words to my internal struggle. But just knowing that isn’t enough, I need a proper “implementation plan” to actually put it into practice.
So, here’s the deal!
With all the past traumas and screw-ups, I need to learn to have some compassion for my “old self”. We all mess up. Those mistakes made us who we are today. At that age, we did what we did.
For the current challenges, I need to cultivate a brave-but-humble attitude to face my weaknesses, and a positive mindset to actually solve problems instead of just wallowing in self-criticism. It’s like, “Okay, I messed up. Now what?”
And as for the uncertainties in the future? I need to learn to embrace them with an open mind. Life moves at breakneck speed these days, and if I am constantly worrying, I may miss out on a lot of opportunities. But I also need to accept that life has its ups and downs, and that difficult times can come at any time. It’s like preparing for a roller coaster ride — exciting, but also potentially dizzying.
And here’s what I’ve been doing to actually put this self-love thing into practice:
Protecting my positive vibes
I avoid getting sucked into negative conversations and news. I also limit contact with people who bring bad energy or treat me with disrespect. Basically, I’m building a positivity fortress around myself.
Boosting my good vibes
I try to share positive things with others, and I consume uplifting and thought-provoking content. Think of good books, inspiring stories, or write journals weekly.
Talking to myself (like a normal person, I swear)
When I’m stressed, buried under deadlines, or just feeling down, I have a little chat with myself. I ask myself probing questions like: “Why did I react that way?” “What am I really feeling right now?” “How do I feel after that happened?” “Do I need some ‘me time’ or maybe some help from someone?” “Can I push myself just a little bit more?”
It’s like having a free therapy session with the most qualified person I know: myself.
Staying present
I try to take things as they come and avoid overthinking or making things more complicated for fear of missing out. If I’m “not good enough,” someone will let me know. I don’t need to create problems for myself. It’s like, “I am a chill girl, universe. I get it.”
Affirming myself and finding my purpose
I’m working on believing in myself and figuring out what my life is all about.
Why do I say “working on”? Because it’s a long journey of self-discovery. Every year, I get a little clearer about what I want out of life and what gives it meaning.
In my 20s, I was all about proving myself and making money. In my 30s, I crave more time and financial stability to take care of my parents. Maybe in my 40s, I’ll just want to contribute to society by paying my taxes and staying healthy enough to keep on keeping on.
It’s easy to say all this, but actually doing it and constantly motivating myself to build inner strength is incredibly difficult. So, may you and me, on this journey of learning to “Love Yourself”, always be faithful, compassionate and wise.
Respect and love yourself. Be happy, be happier!
